Effort Optimizer Pillows

Avoidance of Situation/Work required to succeed.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

Blowing dust off an order book.

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

'Gentlemen, we make money the old-fashioned way, and it's got to STOP!'

The Devolution of Man

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

Castle Efficiency

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

"That's your tiny house!"

"It's an alert from my smart desk. It wants me to go paperless because it can no longer bear the weight of all the paper I use."

"You said to start the laundry and bathe the cat, so I thought I could save time if..."

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

Silly man ordered a bed that is too big for his room.

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

"I like putting any all the holiday decorations....it makes the room seem twice as large."