Time Optimizer Pillows

Guru tells secret of time management is word NO.

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"Waking at 2 A.M. is how I stay one step ahead of all the people who wake at 5 A.M."

"You said to start the laundry and bathe the cat, so I thought I could save time if..."

"Yipee. Jigsaw Puzzle O Clock!!"

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

Blowing dust off an order book.

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

The Devolution of Man

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

"It's an alert from my smart desk. It wants me to go paperless because it can no longer bear the weight of all the paper I use."

Avoidance of Situation/Work required to succeed.

Kids' energy levels

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

"Hurry up with that cork!"

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

"Why, you're right. Tonight isn't reading night, tonight is sex night."

"Oh, nice-pulling up the blinds really lets in the light."

'Ms Brown, I think I need a bigger desk!'

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you lived at home?"

'This is Billy...my caddy and designated putter.'

"With all that tinkering do you really save time?"

"Frank doesn't like to waste a minute of his vacation."

"Personnel say we can't recruit because nobody wants the soul destroying pressure, the morale crushing hours, the TERRIBLE work life balance."

'I suppose your bath's ready...'

"I'm busy right now. Ask your mom if she can be interactive this evening."