Time Optimizers Pillows

'Worms...Who has the time?'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

Supply Chain

Blowing dust off an order book.

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

The Devolution of Man

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"You said to start the laundry and bathe the cat, so I thought I could save time if..."

"It's an alert from my smart desk. It wants me to go paperless because it can no longer bear the weight of all the paper I use."

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

"Hurry up with that cork!"

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

"Why, you're right. Tonight isn't reading night, tonight is sex night."

The first meeting.

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you lived at home?"

"Waking at 2 A.M. is how I stay one step ahead of all the people who wake at 5 A.M."

'Ms Brown, I think I need a bigger desk!'

"With all that tinkering do you really save time?"

"Frank doesn't like to waste a minute of his vacation."

'This is Billy...my caddy and designated putter.'

"You very rarely get to work on time, your reports are always late you completely miss most meetings..."

"Personnel say we can't recruit because nobody wants the soul destroying pressure, the morale crushing hours, the TERRIBLE work life balance."

"I'm busy right now. Ask your mom if she can be interactive this evening."

"Your solution is far too simple for a real expert..."

"Does our improvement really need to be so continuous?"