Efficiency Optimizer Pillows

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"With all that tinkering do you really save time?"

"Looks like we found the issue."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Time Is Money

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

Inout baskets.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

Maybe clean out your wallet

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

'Working on my computer save me loads of spare time. To do more stuff on my computer.'

I have plenty of work harder bees. Get me more work smarter bees.

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

"It's a 670 page questionnaire on how to cut back on unnecessary bureaucracy!"

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

Hourglass Dumptruck

Dating the efficiency expert.