Efficiency Optimizer Pillows

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"With all that tinkering do you really save time?"

"Looks like we found the issue."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Time Is Money

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

Inout baskets.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

'Working on my computer save me loads of spare time. To do more stuff on my computer.'

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"It's a 670 page questionnaire on how to cut back on unnecessary bureaucracy!"

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

Hourglass Dumptruck

Dating the efficiency expert.