Operation Optimizer Pillows

'They've been rehearsing your surgery.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

'Gentlemen, we make money the old-fashioned way, and it's got to STOP!'

Castle Efficiency

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

The Devolution of Man

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

Avoidance of Situation/Work required to succeed.

"It's an alert from my smart desk. It wants me to go paperless because it can no longer bear the weight of all the paper I use."

"That's your tiny house!"

"You said to start the laundry and bathe the cat, so I thought I could save time if..."

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

Kids' energy levels

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

Silly man ordered a bed that is too big for his room.