Order Optimizer Pillows

'There's a mistake. I ordered a TV, not an A.T.V.'

"And we give you sixty seconds to complete your order or Joey does it for you."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

The Devolution of Man

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

Castle Efficiency

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

The Complete Cycle.

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

"That's your tiny house!"

Avoidance of Situation/Work required to succeed.

Kids' energy levels

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

"You said to start the laundry and bathe the cat, so I thought I could save time if..."

Silly man ordered a bed that is too big for his room.

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

'Office real estate' lifting weights

"I like putting any all the holiday decorations....it makes the room seem twice as large."

A house is full of signs directing where things are stored.

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.