Effort Optimizer T-Shirts

Avoidance of Situation/Work required to succeed.

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

Blowing dust off an order book.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

The Devolution of Man

'Gentlemen, we make money the old-fashioned way, and it's got to STOP!'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

Castle Efficiency

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

"You said to start the laundry and bathe the cat, so I thought I could save time if..."

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

"That's your tiny house!"

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

"It's an alert from my smart desk. It wants me to go paperless because it can no longer bear the weight of all the paper I use."

Silly man ordered a bed that is too big for his room.

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."