Efficiency Wizard Gifts

"Skip the blow by blow. Just condense it into a couple of barks."

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

Where your mind & battle are los

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Time Is Money

Late/Too Late.

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

Motivation to work

Maybe clean out your wallet

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

Failure/Due Diligence

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

'Apparently you can't fire everybody and still maintain productivity.'

'It's come to my notice, Simpson, that YOU'RE the glitch in the system.'

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."