Efficiency Wizard Gifts

"Skip the blow by blow. Just condense it into a couple of barks."

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

Where your mind & battle are los

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Time Is Money

Motivation to work

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

Late/Too Late.

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Failure/Due Diligence

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

'I solve so many work problems at home.'

'It's come to my notice, Simpson, that YOU'RE the glitch in the system.'

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."