Efficiency Hacker Gifts

'Great news! We're not outsourcing your job, just your pay.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

Where your mind & battle are los

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

Work Parfait

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

Gadget geek.

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Late/Too Late.

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

Stressed over time management

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

Failure/Due Diligence

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

'I solve so many work problems at home.'

'Apparently you can't fire everybody and still maintain productivity.'

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"We find it as long as you manage the inputs, the outputs will look after themselves."

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

"The admin shouldn’t take more than 30 or 40 hours, then you’ll be free to get on with some work."