Efficiency Evaluator Pillows

"As an efficiency expert I can with great certainty point to one inescapable fact. You guys aren't."

"Looks like we found the issue."

Where your mind & battle are los

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Time Is Money

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

Motivation to work

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

Late/Too Late.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Inout baskets.

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Failure/Due Diligence

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

'It's cheaper than gas.'