Efficiency Observer Pillows

'It's amazing, you've been here 8 hours and haven't set off the motion detector I set up in your work area.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Motivation to work

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'It says it works so fast, it's accumulated seven thousand years of vacation with pay.'

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

'See here, Flanigan ? what's this I hear about you going over my head to the computer?'

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

Peacock of Productivity

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

"I'm Kurt... this brochure will explain the rest."