Educational Satire Lovers Gifts

"You must be the teacher's pet!"

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

'They've all tested positive for stress.'

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

"...And you get hazardous pay for study hall periods."

'Think Basics.'

Cave College: 'We offer two majors, Hunting and Gathering.'

"I dreamed I was being chased by a giant standardized test."

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

'...And now a word from our sponsors...'

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

'...All I can say is, the judge was adamant about his gag order on the case.'

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'I was just checking your records, Kleinzweck, and you have a Ph.D.. in pseudoscience!'

'I don't think it was a very productive year for Ms. Read. We learned to use all twenty six letters, and she only learned to use the 'C'.'

'I was only promoted to fourth grade ten minutes ago, and I've already wiped third grade out of my mind.'

"If you opt for our premium package Ryan will only have tenured professors."

"It's been redacted for security reasons."