Fans Of Educational Satire Gifts

"So your grades are plummeting and you've stopped trying because you came to the realization that 'school is overrated'?"

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

In my day, they didn

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

'They've all tested positive for stress.'

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

'I can understand you getting upset when they make fun of your little arms, but eating your classmates is not the answer.'

'Think Basics.'

"...And you get hazardous pay for study hall periods."

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

Cave College: 'We offer two majors, Hunting and Gathering.'

"I dreamed I was being chased by a giant standardized test."

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

'...All I can say is, the judge was adamant about his gag order on the case.'

"Owww!! Yes, that hurts!"

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

'...And now a word from our sponsors...'

'Your evaluation is based on what you do in the next 30 seconds. Go!'

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'I don't think it was a very productive year for Ms. Read. We learned to use all twenty six letters, and she only learned to use the 'C'.'

The City of Eden…in Fact - Martin Outside the 'Office' of Chuzzlewit & Co