School Satire Fans Gifts

Booger-Boy Scandal 3: 'Oh for the love of...Detention again?! What for this time Danae?'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Billy strip: help with homework.

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"When I said my teacher had no class I meant class was canceled."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'They've all tested positive for stress.'

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

'I can understand you getting upset when they make fun of your little arms, but eating your classmates is not the answer.'

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

'There are ten questions on this quiz. Each is worth 20 points.'

Cave College: 'We offer two majors, Hunting and Gathering.'

"I dreamed I was being chased by a giant standardized test."

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'