School Satire Fan Gifts

'They've all tested positive for stress.'

"I'm sorry...but homework is just not a core value for me!"

"Your son is teaching third grade at a second-grade level."

'I called the 24-hour Teacher Tech Support Helpline but they were closed. Apparently they are open 24 hours but not in a row.'

'Before we do the register..can any of you teach English?'

'You realize, of course, there are no easy answers.'

'We've had a total of twenty-seven dropouts this term. The total is thirty-two if you count the teachers.'

'Report cards are coming out soon. If you're a gambler, take the under.'

'How can we get 'retrained'. We never got trained.'

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

'Your report is totally without merit. Add a color cover and some clip art and resubmit your work.'

'You see! This is why I think John may have lost control of his class!'

"Warning! The following report contains strong language and graphic violence, and may be disturbing to some listeners."

"She can't flunk me! I'll call the gubernor!"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Director/Action Man toy.

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

What's normal?

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

The Working Woman's Magazine

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'