Educational Satire Lover Gifts

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

"I take it you had lunchroom duty today?"

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"I don't think we can approve you for homeschooling your child based on the fact that you signed your application with an 'X'."

'These are the people who contributed to my behavior.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

String Theory for Beginners.

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

Monkey Business College

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

'They've all tested positive for stress.'

"...And you get hazardous pay for study hall periods."

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

'Think Basics.'

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

'I finally understood 'negative numbers' when the teacher said they're just like the US budget deficit.'

Cave College: 'We offer two majors, Hunting and Gathering.'

"I dreamed I was being chased by a giant standardized test."

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

"You can't be needing another break - the kids have only been back a week!"