Educational Satire Enthusiast Gifts

'Professor, Professor, the slaves are, I mean, the PhD students are revolting!'

Ethics exam cheater.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

Party Schools...

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

'They've all tested positive for stress.'

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

'Think Basics.'

"...And you get hazardous pay for study hall periods."

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

Cave College: 'We offer two majors, Hunting and Gathering.'

"I dreamed I was being chased by a giant standardized test."

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

"It's true that I'm overdrawn but the bribes for improving coursework marks are coming in now!"

'...All I can say is, the judge was adamant about his gag order on the case.'

'...And now a word from our sponsors...'

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."