Educational Satire Lovers Pillows

"You must be the teacher's pet!"

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

'They've all tested positive for stress.'

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"...And you get hazardous pay for study hall periods."

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

'Think Basics.'

Cave College: 'We offer two majors, Hunting and Gathering.'

"I dreamed I was being chased by a giant standardized test."

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

'...And now a word from our sponsors...'

'...All I can say is, the judge was adamant about his gag order on the case.'

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'I was just checking your records, Kleinzweck, and you have a Ph.D.. in pseudoscience!'

'I don't think it was a very productive year for Ms. Read. We learned to use all twenty six letters, and she only learned to use the 'C'.'

'I was only promoted to fourth grade ten minutes ago, and I've already wiped third grade out of my mind.'

"If you opt for our premium package Ryan will only have tenured professors."

"It's been redacted for security reasons."

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'