Educational Dreamer Gifts

"Not bad, but have you guys been to the house where they're giving out full MFAs?"

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The fate of the emigrant

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

"Make a lot of money."

Continuing education.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

Exam

What else is there to wish for?

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"Holy cow, Kenny, look at the size of that thing! It's huge, I tell ya'! And the teeth! The teeth!"

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

Tree house.

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

Girl to boy: 'If flowers could fly, they'd be butterflies.'

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."