Educational Critique Gifts

'How will THIS ever apply to my real life?'

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

"I won't do the 'What I did on my summer vacation' assignment. I consider it a privacy issue."

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

"I don't want your teacher to think a kid with grades this bad....could possibly have a father who could read or write."

Graduation at the executioner's school

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

Cutting Room Floor

"Why do I have to work hard at school? I can buy a degree on the internet!"

"O.K., here I am in the fourth grade, but is that really what I want to be doing with my life?"

"I like our history teacher, but he talks too much about the past."

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."

'I would probably do a lot better if you would just teach me stuff I already know.'

I hate to do this but you know the high costs of college.

"I've been trying for days, but I can't get hold of the Superintendent for Accountability."

"6B meet your new form teacher."

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The Illusion of School Choice

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