Educational Critique Fan Gifts

Graduation at the executioner's school

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"It lost a little something in translation."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

'I'm pretty sure I have a Ph.D. I think one came bundled with my new computer.'

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

Privatized Jails

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

"Anyway, to make a long story short, I'm the guy who invented CliffsNotes."

'I expect 'Sesame Street has seen some new developments since I was your age?'

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"When we have COVID under control you'll be rewarded for saving us, we won't forget how much we owe you."

"Suppose we leave the salary unchanged but get smaller women."

'Don't act too happy that school's out. You'll hurt our teacher's feelings.'

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'But my mom says that 40 is the new 30.'

Tony Blair in the morning and George Bush in the afternoon. Lulu and Stan were having a good day.

Cave College: 'We offer two majors, Hunting and Gathering.'

"I dreamed I was being chased by a giant standardized test."

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"

"Can't hear it at all, miss."

"I don't have any yet. We just opened."

'Don't you think this school has way too many fire drills?'

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

'Here - I did my math homework, but the details are still sketchy.'

'You tell me that I should forget the past and go on with my life But doctor, I am the history teacher'

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'

Not Such A Fool As He Looks.

'Didn't I read your last book, find it absolutely disgusting and vow never to read another, or was that someone else?'

Report Card: Chicken Gets Grade A's.

"Let's review cause and effect. Your divorce 10 years ago can't affect your son's zero today."

Best Dream Ever