Historical Critique Fan Gifts

The Spanish inquisition stoops to an all-time low.

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"It lost a little something in translation."

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

Early attempts at standardising currency.

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

'It always great to get away from it all.'

Privatized Jails

"You don't think this could be construed as ironic do you?"

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

'Barbarians at the gate? That's fine, I fully support social mobility.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

"Suppose we leave the salary unchanged but get smaller women."

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

God's Double Whammy.

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

Royalty, Episcopacy, and Law.

Jonathan Swift.

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

Ben Jonson.

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

Lady Jane Grey

'Golfers rowing a viking longboat.'

La Boheme - Mimi dies

"What was life really like in the middle ages, Sadie?"

"The good news is everyone's on board. The bad news is the unicorns are gay."

"Now who's being judgy?"

Tony Blair in the morning and George Bush in the afternoon. Lulu and Stan were having a good day.

"You rang, m'lord?"

'Hi, my name is Eve. Where is the mall?'