Historical Satire Fan Gifts

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

'We can appeal.'

Sincerely Machiavelli.

"The chicken is for this year's taxes. The egg is my estimated for next year."

'Lucky we got Clam to circle the wagons.'

'Oh no! We've been Bruegelled!'

The Mummy's Curse.

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

Early attempts at standardising currency.

The thriving city of Eden as it appeared in fact

Pirates go blind.

Owner: 'Why didn't you ride as I told you? Didn't I tell you to force the pace early and come away at the corner?' Jockey: 'Yes m'Lord, but I couldn't very well leave the horse behind.'

Historians don't like to talk about the French poodle and Indian War of 1751.

'While today's economic problems may be similar to the great depression, don't worry, we have Prozac now!'

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

Le hoops.

Man for the guillotine has brought a teddy with him for courage.

"We'll be paying for the prairie, the forests, and the streams with this credit card, which is just as good as—if not better than—trinkets."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

The British Hamlet ('Alas poor Yorick, I knew him ...I say 'knew', more of an acquaintance really ...')

Ivan the Terrible

'Off with their heads.'

"Wonder what they handed out on the very first Halloween?"

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

Two Wise Men & One Wise Guy

"We believe this woman to be a witch as she is known to have expressed an opinion online."

'I know it doesn't pay much, Paul, but we get all the corn we can eat.'

'Hi, my name is Eve. Where is the mall?'

"The peasants aren't all that bad, actually - It's the MIDDLE class you have to watch out for."

'What do you mean you're going vegan?'

Davy Crocket power walks into history.

'I don't think there's room for us all.'

'The three wise men...'

Madame Tussauds - "Dr Shipman's arrived"