Education Cynic Gifts

"Listen, I know most of you hate school, so now we're going to post the 10 commandments in every classroom so you can hate religion too."

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

Personnel. Now, I want you to forget everything you learned in school. I'm way ahead of you!

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

"I don't mind them counting the days 'til school's out, but I wish they wouldn't do it on their fingers."

Go to M.I.T., they said. You'll do great things, they said.

Will Self deprecation

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

"They make us learn reading, writing, and arithmetic to prepare us for a world of videotapes, computer terminals and calculators."

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 7)- the Eternal Problem of Youth and Pedantry

Once a politician is elected, his work is over.

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

'I go to college -- What do you do for a living?'

"The candidates this year are really honest."

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

"Diogenes, this is Washington, D.C. It's probably the worst place to look for an honest man."

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

'That's it?'

"Nah...not really...he's only won one game!" (Clever dog).

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

Cutting Room Floor

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'