Education Irony Lover Gifts

"Listen Smith, I don't care if the older boys are picking on you or not, you have to come into school - you're the deputy head for goodness sake!"

Ethics exam cheater.

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

"Shows you how much I know."

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

'It's not a designer pin. It's actually a medal the Principal gave me for backing up my hard drive.'

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

Old McDonald, first grader, fails English.

"We're not admitting any wrong doing, but we've agreed to pay a ten Zillion dollar fine.''

"It's true that I'm overdrawn but the bribes for improving coursework marks are coming in now!"

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

The Artificial Intelligentsia

'Your evaluation is based on what you do in the next 30 seconds. Go!'

Mom and child visit principal who has a sign on the door - Nap Time.

"He's not here to keep someone from breaking in. He's here to keep students from breaking out!"

"What's a 14-letter word for 'school leader'?"

"An A-plus in plagiarism! I am so proud of you darling!"

Kid to kid about boat: 'Must be one of those charter schools I keep hearing about.'

How teachers decide what school supplies kids need to buy.

Speak n Spell - Pirate Edition.

'I went to a real tough high school -- Our Junior Businessman club used to knock over liquor stores.'

"Sorry, this is NOT a school, it is a university: we have an entrance exam..."

A Law student sees a class entitled Celebrity Law 101

"Lot 541, the last A Level Art History Syllabus, frame and dated, what do I hear bid. . .?"

Students getting marked letter grades on foreheads. 'It's the beginning of another marking period at Highland Community Schools.'

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'