Edit-escaping Dreamer Gifts

A writer sails on the water chased by editing shears.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Schrodinger's Black Box

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Desert Island Mishap

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

Anywhere but here

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

Inventing Time Travel

'Lookout, here comes another boatload of cartoonists.'

"I have a bad feeling about this."

Stress Prison - The fictional jail you imagine being sent to so you can catch up with Netflix and reading.

Stop Smoking Program.

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

"My novel? I've put it on hold. I'm writing my response in case I get asked to do on eof those 'How I write' columns..."

Sleeping Tiger

Julian Barnes

"No, it's great. I'm just saying 'The Gospel of St. Luke' is an ambitious title for a first-time self-publisher."

Holiday rental with panoramic views...

"So I take it that having your head cryogenically frozen accounts for the thirty-five year gap in employment?"

Pirates

"After I bought all this stuff, I realized I'm more of a word person."

'Isn't that cute. She's writing her first novel.'

"Could you keep it down please!"

'Alix, there's nothing in there. It's just a plastic pool...'

"It's not a rescue, it's the IRS and my ex-wife's lawyer."

'You're taking up kung fu? What put that idea in your head?'

Glad we moved out of the City

"There goes our attorney, headed for Florida."

"Ok, now...find your center."

Paper Airplane

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

A man sits alone on a desert island being monitored by a CCTV camera