Edit-escaping Dreamer T-Shirts

A writer sails on the water chased by editing shears.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Schrodinger's Black Box

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Desert Island Mishap

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

Anywhere but here

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

Inventing Time Travel

'Lookout, here comes another boatload of cartoonists.'

"I have a bad feeling about this."

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

Stress Prison - The fictional jail you imagine being sent to so you can catch up with Netflix and reading.

Stop Smoking Program.

"My novel? I've put it on hold. I'm writing my response in case I get asked to do on eof those 'How I write' columns..."

Sleeping Tiger

Holiday rental with panoramic views...

"No, it's great. I'm just saying 'The Gospel of St. Luke' is an ambitious title for a first-time self-publisher."

Pirates

"So I take it that having your head cryogenically frozen accounts for the thirty-five year gap in employment?"

'Isn't that cute. She's writing her first novel.'

"There goes our attorney, headed for Florida."

"Could you keep it down please!"

Glad we moved out of the City

"It's not a rescue, it's the IRS and my ex-wife's lawyer."

'Alix, there's nothing in there. It's just a plastic pool...'

'You're taking up kung fu? What put that idea in your head?'

Paper Airplane

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

A man sits alone on a desert island being monitored by a CCTV camera

Charles Darwin upon his return from the south seas starts to write about the search for a white whale...and has second thoughts about it.