Edge Master Gifts

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"What's a debenture?"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

We called this meeting to decide your torture, Mr. Jones. Then we realized we could kill two birds with one stone by making this meeting eternal.

Genius

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"Just look what we can accomplish when we work towards a common goal...LUNCH!"

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

'Okay, here's the plan...'

Attendees Anonymous

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

"FISH ON"

...read the minutes back but skip the part where Mr.Bostock tried to strangle me.

"The secretary will now read the minutes from our last meeting."

"It's like the other ones! I saw a shark! I saw a shark!"

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

"We hope it's just a bug with our new Quantum mainframe."

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

Out of Focus Group