Economizing Gifts

Belt-tightening

'If you're on a budget, we can curl him up.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"I actually don't know who he is .... but he's cheaper than a body camera."

Offshore Outsourcing

'It's a box of candles from the power company, with a letter about brown outs.'

'I'm sorry James, but we're on the low end of a business cycle.'

'We get the fresh scent without all the needles.'

Gas bar, Full service/Self-serving tightwads

The cutbacks were beginning to bite at the local council...

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

Cut directors pay in half and stop all share options - "Right, now, tell me about Plan 'B'."

'I couldn't afford studded snow tires so I tried driving nails into the tires I have.'

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

Their lowest cost vacation yet.

TRAVEL AGENCY, 'Just a one-way ticket, please - I'm counting on them to deport me back.'

Vacation Options For Summer.

' . . . Our 'idea man' has saved us a lot of money . . .'

'I need $50.' - '$40? What do you need $30 for?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"I know it helps the budget, dear, but next time let's not get the Ultra King-Size Jumbo roll."

'I couldn't afford a spray tan, so I did it myself with a brush and roller.'

"We're cutting down on travel expenses."

'When you said money was short and you were having a 'staycation' I didn't think you meant at the office!'

"The good news is that a delicious stick of jerky is still a very affordable seventy-five cents."

"I'm just thinking about how much money we saved not going abroad."

"The inflation isn't that bad. The kids pick berries, my wife picks grass and leaves, and once a month we can afford a loaf of bread."

"In the land of toast the butter is spread very thin."

"Annoying, yes, but cheaper than gas."

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

"Strange times require radical new approaches...We have to be prepared to try new things, work with the new and different people."

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

"There's no pleasing some people. They complain about the cost of driving clients around but when you suggest an alternative they moan..."

"So maybe the idea of using cheaper petrol to heat the house wasn't a great idea!"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.