Cost-saving Gifts

'You the guy who asked for the least expensive generic alternative?'

"And, in our continuing effort to minimize surgical costs, I'll be hitting you over the head and tearing you open with my bare hands."

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

"We've decided to crowdsource the next payroll."

'I know you want a big wedding...but can't we just get married on-line?'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

"I don't want your blood, young lady. I've tapped into your power and gas lines! Muuuahahaha!"

"With these electricity prices we can't afford cooking anymore. Imagine eating sausage-favored popsicles."

Fuel Costs

"The good news is we're going paperless. The bad news is it's the employee's bathrooms."

"Too bad leaves can't replace salt for the roads each winter. It would save us a ton of money."

"We were able to continue our careers and save a chuck of money by outsourcing the twin's daycare to a pack of timber wolves."

"Dry cleaning is so expensive. What I do is take my stuff to a charity shop and buy it back a couple of days later, cleaned, ironed and on a plastic hanger!"

"If anyone objects to this 'cut price' wedding, let him speak now or call at weekend cheap rate."

'You know Jim's got to find another way to avoid the outrageous fares.'

'We're cheap, but we're not cheerful ...'

'I'm feeling a lot better, Nurse -- how about switching me to the cheap stuff?'

"But we've saved a bundle on operating costs since all the equipment broke down."

'They're trying to save on their phone bill.'

Airport Security. It takes longer getting through security, but by wearing all my clothes, I don't have to pay to check a bag!

You're getting cheaper, Armstrong. I'm getting more efficient. It's the American way. Businesses have to keep growing profits to satisfy their investors. The innovative entrepreneur finds ways to grow sales while constantly cutting costs. By giving customers used straws. They're broken in.

British savings accounts

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.