Cost Cutters Gifts

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

"I'm finding this model very economical!"

'Now there's a perfect example of something that's not cost effective. Fire him!'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

The Affordable Shredder

"I appreciate your vision and work ethic but I have a budget. How much would it cost for your vision without work ethics?"

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"To save money, 5 employees will share the same computer. I got the idea while I was carpooling."

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

"Moreover, profits double if we move in with our parents."

'If I'm going to do an effective job of reducing costs, I'm going to need a bigger budget.'

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

'Here we stopped workers taking home pens.'

"I've decided to forgo expensive gifts with acts of apathy."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go...we've just sourced somebody in Mumbai who's 34% better at being you for 29% less!'

'I've just thought of a way to save the company £1800 a month.'

"We're cutting costs now, so get rid of the petting zoo."

'It's so expensive because it doesn't do as much as other computers and it's harder to use.'

'Sir, our new automated telephone system saves us $20,000 annually, but our phone business has dropped 66%!'

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

A=Gets the job done (efficient) B=Wasteful if spent (flashy) Available resources

"This wasn't the kind of budget cuts I had in mind."

"And, in our continuing effort to minimize surgical costs, I'll be hitting you over the head and tearing you open with my bare hands."