Economizing Pillows

Belt-tightening

'If you're on a budget, we can curl him up.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"I actually don't know who he is .... but he's cheaper than a body camera."

Offshore Outsourcing

'We get the fresh scent without all the needles.'

Gas bar, Full service/Self-serving tightwads

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

'I'm sorry James, but we're on the low end of a business cycle.'

'It's a box of candles from the power company, with a letter about brown outs.'

The cutbacks were beginning to bite at the local council...

'I couldn't afford a spray tan, so I did it myself with a brush and roller.'

' . . . Our 'idea man' has saved us a lot of money . . .'

'I couldn't afford studded snow tires so I tried driving nails into the tires I have.'

'I need $50.' - '$40? What do you need $30 for?'

Their lowest cost vacation yet.

Cut directors pay in half and stop all share options - "Right, now, tell me about Plan 'B'."

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

Vacation Options For Summer.

TRAVEL AGENCY, 'Just a one-way ticket, please - I'm counting on them to deport me back.'

"I know it helps the budget, dear, but next time let's not get the Ultra King-Size Jumbo roll."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"We're cutting down on travel expenses."

"Sum yourself up in three words"

"The good news is that a delicious stick of jerky is still a very affordable seventy-five cents."

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

"Look at how much money we could save if we were homeless."

"The inflation isn't that bad. The kids pick berries, my wife picks grass and leaves, and once a month we can afford a loaf of bread."

"In the land of toast the butter is spread very thin."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Annoying, yes, but cheaper than gas."

Budget Travel (Hitchhiking)

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'You want my husband. He's the chairperson of the living-beyond-our-ways-and-means committee.'

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"