Champion Of Economizing Pillows

'This urn contains the ashes of all my annual performance reviews. They gave it to me in lieu of a gold watch, when I filed for retirement. Management said money is tight.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"Gee, thanks pal."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'Are we broke yet?'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

"A wage increase to match inflation."

"Turns that out! - We're supposed to be saving energy!!"

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

Cut directors pay in half and stop all share options - "Right, now, tell me about Plan 'B'."

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

"The good news is that a delicious stick of jerky is still a very affordable seventy-five cents."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

'If I'm going to do an effective job of reducing costs, I'm going to need a bigger budget.'

"Budget Cuts."

'I thought up the term 'too big to fail'. So where's my bonus?'

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

'A belt will have to be tightened...not the cars...yours.'

Oxfam report shows the 8 richest men as much wealth as the poorer half of humanity.

"Wow! Even from space the Italian mountain of debt is visible!"

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

America's Biggest Export...

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

Their lowest cost vacation yet.

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"In the land of toast the butter is spread very thin."