Economics Jokester Pillows

'I'm not surprised, have you see the price of headstones lately?'

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

Trickledown economics

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

'How are you at takeovers?'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'We buy and sell them.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

"I have your evaluation...great teamwork, great morale...basically, you're a good dog."

'You call it a beer belly, I prefer to think of it as a lump sum settlement of liquid assets.'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

Government Handouts.

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

"The GOOD news is that customers complaints are down, the BAD news is that we've got no customers."

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.