Economic Jokester Pillows

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

'You have stock market fever.'

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

Made in China

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

'The recession is over, again.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'Wait a minute....!

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

Money god

The Euro - R.I.P.

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

Investments.

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'You wouldn't threaten your bank manager...er...maybe...'

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

Positive Trend, Dreadful Outcome

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Euro Bait