Eco Stylist T-Shirts

"Just a little off the top and shape the back."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'The Prom Dress: One Week Later'

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

"I hear that bamboo is all the rage this year."

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

Recycling - Perfectly good bits you can't recycle or give away...

'Muriel makes all her own clothes out of junk mail.'

'... so I decided to make us all fabulous new outfits from the Guardian environment supplement!'

Ikea for Hippies

"This weather changes in a heart-beat! I moved here last year and am never sure how to dress!"

"Let's save this gift wrap. I'm sure we can use it again. Remind me not forget about using this next year."

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

Lily Costume

"Did you throw away this tabletop?"

Bird box with amenities (plumbing, electricity).

'We're carbon off-setting.'

'It's nice when people give Christmas presents that you appreciate.'

Botox pump outside a cosmetology clinic.

"It's made of all-natural materials, but needs a little wedding on occasion!"

'Muriel makes all her own clothes out of junk mail.'

"It's called a duplex. With deforestation as it is, it's the future of housing unfortunately..."

'We've reduced the carbon footprint of this model to a size 5 with stiletto heels.'

"Well...there goes our hempline!"

"I want something sassy but easy to take care of if the ice caps melt."

"They're all in fashion this time of year - just pick one!"