Eco-friendly Excuse Maker Pillows

"I daren't cut that lot down. I'd probably alter the whole eco-system."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

Homework flavored dog food

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

Lame Lines

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

Production Meeting: Excuses

"Where do you come up with your rationalizations for not writing?"

Assignments Due. The Russians hacked my homework.

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

Student to teacher: 'No, not my dog. I do my homework on my computer... and the cat ate the mouse.'

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''

'Of course I've not dusted - you know I prefer a matt finish!'

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

'Another advantage is everyone will have better tans.'

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

'It's a long story.'

"It was a huge topical depression bringing with it cyclonic winds, mountainous seas, severe flooding, and a damage bill of millions of dollars, mum!"

Climate-Conscious Cartoonists Work Without Paper!

"The brakes still feel spongy to me."

'Jogging's too dangerous for me. I tried it once, and I rear-ended a mailman.'

My dog ate my flash drive, and that's where I stored my homework.

I'm sorry, but my life is just way too complicated to start dating anybody right now. I have a part-time job, basic cable and a very demanding cactus plant. ! !