Eco Friend Gifts

'Apparently it's something to do with our methane gas output.'

Deforestation.

The Environmentalist

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"I love you too, big guy."

Politically Correct Snowperson

A tourist inadvertently destroying the place he is visiting

Garden Goddess.

Bee flying to another flower.

God's Subcontractors

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

Coexist. Coexhaust.

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

The eco club is starting a locavore movement here at school. "Loco" what? Eating fresh food, grown locally. So? So everyone eats healthier and uses less energy. Um � Ok. I'll tell my mom. Who are those people. Locobores.

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

Sale! Weed Whackers

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"Looks like those folks from 'civilization' are back!"

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Did you just hear that? We are now and endangered species and mating is now our top priority!'

Food waste with recycling symbol

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

"I think we have run out of time..."

Cat Panels. Cats soak up sun on rooftop like solar panels.

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

"Not to mention the park view."