Eco-dialogue Enthusiast Gifts

'Is plastic okay? -- Even though it comes from oil?'

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

Politically Correct Snowperson

"I love you too, big guy."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

God's Subcontractors

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Sale! Weed Whackers

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

"I think we have run out of time..."

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

The New Normal

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

Climate Change

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

Dept. Sustainable Energy.

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

"I solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze environmental issues...but being a renaissance man isn't what it used to be."

"I can’t remember the last time he hugged me!"