Eco-conscious Comedy Lover Gifts

"There's sewage in the rivers, there's sewage in the lakes. We'd be right at home living in the country."

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Water company bonus.

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Where's my global warming?

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"I modified the symbol for accuracy."

"He's a keen conservationist - especially where energy and water are concerned."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

Will work for manure.

We've gotten all we can with traditional drilling techniques. What do you know about fracking?

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

Earth-Friendly Financial Services: "Working to protect our planet by accumulating vast piles of your money."

'Gene Pool'

'What kind of mileage do you get?'

Well, good luck evolving, son, and don't do anything I wouldn't do! You know, like destroy the planet or something.

"There's no such thing as a vegan flytrap."

"As part of the new environmental policy management want us to introduce a paperless office, and this is how they want us to do it."

Recycle your problems. Many of our neuroses, hang-ups and character defects can be re-used by others.

'I want you to know we're 100% sustainable now. We've phased out tarpits and switched to solar panels and double glazing!'

Tofurkey.

'If it'll make you any happier, we're biodegradable, too.'

Despite the abundance of giant corks on the frontier, zero emission vehicles never caught on in the Old West.

Acmeville welcomes you to leave your carbon footprint here.

Now, this is a good garden: full of weeds! The likelyhood of somebody trying to poison us here is very low...

If Global Warming is a left wing plot...it's a very good one.

"The idea is simple. You pay us money and all your sins disappear! It's just like purchasing carbon offsets."

Firewood for Sale

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

I'm fully aware of the mission for a paperless society, but can I please have a toilet-roll for the gents?

"Wait - use a knife. It's greener."