Echolocation Aficionado Gifts

Hey, hey, hey! Sonar up here!

'So much for your new Satnav!'

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

Reinventing the Wheel

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

Planes, Trains, Automobiles, Zeppelins.

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

Celebrity 10 o'clock news...

"On the bright side, my fitness tracker says struggling in qucksand this long is the equivalent of a 10-mile run."

"The doctor will see you now. Look up at the surveillance camera and tell her what hurts."

"YIKES!"

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

'What did I tell you? - It's time to invent traffic laws.'

"Please stay on the line....Your call is being ignored in the order in which it was received."

Threat Level

"I find her remarkably attractive."

Turn right, go two feet, hit red car

'Is this the narrow gauge track or a standard gauge track?'

"I used to do it all myself, but now I have my lawyers handle it."

"Why didn't you spring for a proper G.P.S.?"

'It's getting worse, Doctor - Now he's SLEEP-drinking!'

'It's a World War II portable phone and it works great when I have someone to crank it.'

'You been sleep walking again?'

Lorry driver goes through woman's living room: 'Sorry for the intrusion, love ... blame the sat nav.'

"Rudolph, with you nose so bright... I'm using my GPS device tonight!"

Replacement Bus Service Spotter

Metrocab/Retrocab

"We are currently experiencing an unusually high volume of calls and all our advisers are busy..."

Desert Crawler wants Taxi

Bus Conductor and Portly Lady

"Hello? Directory enquiries? This si the fourth time I've called for this *&^%()^ number"

"But dear, the GPS says we're doing fine."

World Exhibition - August 1855 - Ground-plan, section, height and elevation of a Parisian cab