Echolocation Aficionado Pillows

'So much for your new Satnav!'

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

Reinventing the Wheel

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

Planes, Trains, Automobiles, Zeppelins.

Celebrity 10 o'clock news...

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

"The doctor will see you now. Look up at the surveillance camera and tell her what hurts."

'What did I tell you? - It's time to invent traffic laws.'

"Please stay on the line....Your call is being ignored in the order in which it was received."

'Is this the narrow gauge track or a standard gauge track?'

"I find her remarkably attractive."

Threat Level

"I used to do it all myself, but now I have my lawyers handle it."

"Why didn't you spring for a proper G.P.S.?"

'It's getting worse, Doctor - Now he's SLEEP-drinking!'

Lorry driver goes through woman's living room: 'Sorry for the intrusion, love ... blame the sat nav.'

'It's a World War II portable phone and it works great when I have someone to crank it.'

'You been sleep walking again?'

"Rudolph, with you nose so bright... I'm using my GPS device tonight!"

Replacement Bus Service Spotter

Metrocab/Retrocab

'This car doesn't go down the hall, madam.'

'Hey! Get in step back there!'

"Hello? Directory enquiries? This si the fourth time I've called for this *&^%()^ number"

"But dear, the GPS says we're doing fine."

World Exhibition - August 1855 - Ground-plan, section, height and elevation of a Parisian cab

"Wake up Mrs. Jones. You're sleep shopping again."