Eccentric Taxidermy Fan Pillows

The Toast Hunter

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

Superintendent

Cat reaching his paw into a mouse hole that is rigged with a guillotine; the mouse has many taxidermy cat paws displayed on his wall

The Phyllis Diller Collection

Crocodile Shoes

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Believe or not but before he became a famous artist he was a shoe salesman.

'My tux is at the cleaners.'

'I bought him off the Internet. Don't be alarmed if there's a small charge on your credit card.'

'Our accident in Wyoming wiped out our vacations for the next 5 years.'

'I'm normally a leg man, but in your case.'

'Sure, I can stuff a rat.'

"That's Julian you can hear, he's really arty-farty this evening"

'I find it silences detractors.'

'Thanks for coming in . ..now I can finish that ankle bracelet I'm working on.'

'Would you mind handing me that needle and thread, sir?'

'It was Oscar's final request.'

'Just think about it. . . Australia is home to over 800,000 unique species, but you're still, by far, the absolute lamest.'

Sinking Ship Tattoo

'...he's teaching me air guitar.'

Snake

'Yes, sir can I help you'

"Don't worry about digging under the chicken coop fence: I have a bolt-cutter..."

"Those hermit crabs stop at nothing."

"Yes, it's my husband Ron, it was cheaper to get him stuffed than buried."

'Fido's looking old, don't you think, Cynthia?'

Penquin with sign: All dressed-up and nowhere to go.

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

Human skin rug.