Eccentric Shopper Gifts

Hairnet for your tortoise? Certainly, sir, what size and colour?

Cut Price

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Great British Eccentrics.

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Self-Checkout.

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

Irregulars

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

The Phyllis Diller Collection