Eccentric Retiree Gifts

"Norman's building a small Hadron Collider."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Open House of Horrors

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

'Don't you ever knock?'

"You're probably wondering why I called you in here today..."

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

'I'm left brained and I needed some right brains.'

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"911?... Guinness Book of World Records?... 911?

"Come at me, Bro!"

Tom Waits.

'Ah, Baker! Still the company's lone voice in the wilderness, I see!'

'Y'know, Henderson, that's exactly the sort of thing that makes people of you as a loose cannon.'

'Oh, retirement is okay, I guess, but I miss looking forward to the weekends.'

A moment with retired entomologist, Norman 'the torch' Walthrop.

Sketchy Neighborhood

What Newton didn't see

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

"Travis didn't believe in nouns."

"Whatever you do don't get onto the topic of his wacky socks."

You are what you collect.

'...Joseph A.Peabody seeks out devious methods to add new excitement to his life.'

'Mix 1lb of greed with 2oz of corruption, fold in a sprinkle of ignorance then put on the shelf...'