Eccentric Retiree T-Shirts

"Norman's building a small Hadron Collider."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Open House of Horrors

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

'Don't you ever knock?'

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

"You're probably wondering why I called you in here today..."

'I'm left brained and I needed some right brains.'

'Y'know, Henderson, that's exactly the sort of thing that makes people of you as a loose cannon.'

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"Come at me, Bro!"

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

"911?... Guinness Book of World Records?... 911?

Tom Waits.

'Ah, Baker! Still the company's lone voice in the wilderness, I see!'

'Oh, retirement is okay, I guess, but I miss looking forward to the weekends.'

A moment with retired entomologist, Norman 'the torch' Walthrop.

You are what you collect.

Sketchy Neighborhood

What Newton didn't see

"Travis didn't believe in nouns."

"Whatever you do don't get onto the topic of his wacky socks."

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

'...Joseph A.Peabody seeks out devious methods to add new excitement to his life.'

'Mix 1lb of greed with 2oz of corruption, fold in a sprinkle of ignorance then put on the shelf...'

'To think it was me who suggested you took up an interest like basket-weaving...'