Eccentric Pair Gifts

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

Great British Eccentrics.

Open House of Horrors

Imagine

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"Who are These People?"

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'I know, but he's a genius.'

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

Human and alien exchange sex toys.

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

'To hell with the rules.'

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."

'Ah, Baker! Still the company's lone voice in the wilderness, I see!'

Clown escaping a shipwreck on an inflatable unicycle.

Man talking to a tree.

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

The Water Diviner

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'Well, Dear, if you must roam about the house dressed as a chicken, that's fine, but please close the drapes when you do!'

'I bet you think you have known interesting people before, not like me. I am truly fascinating.'

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

"That's Julian you can hear, he's really arty-farty this evening"

What Newton didn't see

"Travis didn't believe in nouns."

"Well Alice, some may say I'm mad, but who are they to make such a claim? Being your own unique original self is a beautiful liberating thing! To live as someone else demands is to be a willing slave to tyrants."

"We had to remove him from public view."

'Rodney, I don't know what to make of you. You're bored by excitement, and excited by boredom.'

"This is where your grandfather is buried."

"The whole world is crazy except for me and thee...and sometimes I wonder about thee!"