Eccentric Collector Gifts

Fred brings home one too many cute refrigerator magnets.

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?"

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Use your imagination.

Imagine

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

"He says he's not running away. . . he's just going off the grid."

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

"Who are These People?"

'I know, but he's a genius.'

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Hedgehog living in filing cabinet.

'It's all very well you saying I should paint something else, but what?'

Pre-Bay

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

Human and alien exchange sex toys.

"Love the exposed chessboard."

Rich Man with Lawn Mower followed by Maid with Hoover.

'To hell with the rules.'

Clown escaping a shipwreck on an inflatable unicycle.

Man talking to a tree.

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

Bottom House

"Come at me, Bro!"

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."