Eccentric Collector Pillows

Fred brings home one too many cute refrigerator magnets.

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?"

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Use your imagination.

Imagine

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'It's all very well you saying I should paint something else, but what?'

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'I know, but he's a genius.'

"Who are These People?"

Hedgehog living in filing cabinet.

Pre-Bay

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

Human and alien exchange sex toys.

"Love the exposed chessboard."

'To hell with the rules.'

Rich Man with Lawn Mower followed by Maid with Hoover.

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

Bottom House

Man talking to a tree.

Clown escaping a shipwreck on an inflatable unicycle.

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"Come at me, Bro!"

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."

The Water Diviner