Eccentric Collections Pillows

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

Hedgehog living in filing cabinet.

'It's all very well you saying I should paint something else, but what?'

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

Pre-Bay

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

Buider, "How crazy do you want this paving, mad,or completely wacko?"

'This elusive self-portrait of the artist is perhaps his most famous work. It was purchased, by the museum, for one hundred and ninety million dollars and is now valued at 900 million dollars...'

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

"Love the exposed chessboard."

'It's from my strange-but-not-as-strange-as-I-am-now period.'

Rich Man with Lawn Mower followed by Maid with Hoover.

'An optician was having a closing down sale...I got the last pair!'

Stuffed animal head falls on man.

Sketchy Neighborhood

If you keep sitting on your paintings, you're going to become an impressionist!

'Thanks for coming in . ..now I can finish that ankle bracelet I'm working on.'

"That's Julian you can hear, he's really arty-farty this evening"

Damien Hirst

"Look what I found. You wouldn't believe the things that people throw out."

"And, finally, I can put this charming toy plane on the dress because I am Ungaro."

"It all started when we adopted a highway."

He had gobs of money and a trophy wife...

'I got it at a sale of slightly irregular clocks.'

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?"

Sinking Ship Tattoo

Warning: Surrealism next 4 miles (surrealistic art)

'I realized there was no store in the neighborhood where you could biy a book and you could also buy a pot.'